


a future with you

by smlinjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smlinjun/pseuds/smlinjun
Summary: renjun misses jaemin more as he wonders what future would be if they were still together
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Kudos: 6





	a future with you

**Author's Note:**

> pls lower your expectations but i'm lowkey wishing i'd be able to make you cry

Renjun met Jaemin at a bar, it happened fast—Jaemin wasn’t supposed to have that much importance in his life, but the latter still did. 

Renjun was forced by his friends to dance, saying that he shouldn’t only be drinking since it was an escape from their daily lives of moping around and studying. After 20 minutes of asking him to set foot on the dance floor, he finally did—Donghyuck and Chenle cheered as they were able to force their shy friend.

He closed his eyes and started to sway as he was able to feel the rhythm of the music, that maybe for now it's fine not to think of things that will pull him back into darkness.

_ Baby when I look at your eyes I didn’t expect this day would appear again like fate  _

His eyes shot open when he felt that someone was dancing near him, not too near to invade his personal space but it was enough to make him feel his presence—he scanned the man, eyeing him from head to toe then stared at his face for a while, the man gave him a lopesided smirk, "Having fun staring at my face?" he asked

\---

Renjun thought he would never see the blue haired guy ever again, but boy he was wrong. It was when Chenle decided to force his cousin to watch his boyfriend's swimming match, Renjun knew nothing about the said sport—but he still came to support Lee Jeno.

The game ended with Jeno being in the 1st place. 

When they announced who the winner of the game was,  Na Jaemin—  he was shocked to see the face of the person who owns the name. It was the pretty blue haired boy from the club.

It suited him, his name along with his pretty face. Chenle was cheering out loud for his boyfriend when they were awarding the medals and certificate, causing everyone to look at them including him.

Na Jaemin, being the notorious flirt that he is—he just winked at Renjun, oh how the latter wished that the ground would eat him up. 

\---

The third time is when Jaemin went to the cafe where Renjun was working part time. It was a Saturday afternoon and Jaemin was on his way to practice but he needed his daily dose of caffeine.

Jaemin held up the line, just to get Renjun's number—in the end he did succeed with the bonus of taking Renjun out for dinner after his practice.

Starting from that day, Jaemin slowly etched his way to Renjun's heart.

Looking back at their relationship, there was a lot that Renjun regrets, and now it's hard for him that he can't do anything to fix it.

\---

“When will you stop doing this to yourself? Do you think Jaemin would be happy seeing you like this?” Donghyuck shouted, seething with anger as he saw Renjun ordering another shot of whatever it was that he was drinking.

Renjun turned to his concerned friend, understanding his words clearly despite the intoxication—he chuckled sarcastically, “Jaemin won’t be able to see me anymore!” he yelled back

After all the ugly yelling, and Donghyuck asking his boyfriend to carry Renjun into the car—they actually made it to the car despite struggling a lot for the mere reason that Renjun was resisting a lot.

Donghyuck wanted to follow what Yukhei said and let Renjun to stay with them at their shared apartment, but the latter refused violently and tried to grab Yukhei by the collar for even suggesting that. Donghyuck slapped Renjun as he yelled "Are you trying to kill us?! Yukhei is driving for fuck's sake Renjun!"

Renjun gasped, a tear escaping from his eye—he felt sorry, it was as if the alcohol was suddenly flushed out of his body. The two were both shocked of what had just happened, Donghyuck pulled him into a hug, apologizing over and over again. Both of them were sobbing hard.

It's not that long until they reached Renjun's apartment, a place he once considered as his home. Laughing bitterly as he stared at the dull apartment building, his home was no longer there—his home resides in the stars now, silently watching as he tries to patch up the losing piece of his broken heart.

"Duckie, I'm fine. You can leave me." Renjun uttered as the younger ushered him to the door of his apartment complex. 

The younger doesn't want to leave his bestfriend, he knows very well that the other would end up getting eaten by the sadness that he's trying to fight off. But Renjun begged Yukhei to let him stay alone at his apartment.

Yukhei cares for Renjun as much as Donghyuck does, he may not been there from the start but he was there when Jaemin passed away. He witnessed how his boyfriend's bestfriend broke, and how he developed this shitty coping mechanisms but one thing is for sure, Renjun is a fighter. 

The taller tugged his boyfriend's shirt, signaling him that they should go. Donghyuck sighed in defeat but you can still see that he doesn't want to leave but Yukhei whispered "Baby, let's go. Let's give him time to rest? He'll be okay, he's much stronger than what you perceive him to be."

Renjun laid on his bed after locking the door, their once shared room still reeks of Jaemin's smell—clean warm cotton. The smell gives him comfort, a little bit of hope—that maybe, Jaemin's still there. That he's just late.

It has been months since Jisung, Jaemin's younger brother, called to inform him that the love of his life is battling with life and death after getting into a car crash. Renjun broke down, begging Donghyuck to come pick him up, knowing he can't drive in the state.

He broke down when he saw his boyfriend with numerous tubes they sticked on his body, Jaemin tried to put up a fight—2 whole weeks that he was fighting for his life and the day he opened his eyes, Renjun was there, telling him how much he loved Jaemin. That's why it surprised him that 2 days after, the doctor said that he's no longer there. Renjun was angry, devasted and broken. 

So here he is now, curled up in a ball, crying while hugging their favorite blanket, the one he drowned with Jaemin's perfume—just to feel like he's still there. 

He would've accepted it better if Jaemin was drunk driving, or that the other was overspeeding but he broke when he learned that the other was on his way to his apartment because it was their anniversary. He can't help but to blame himself.

He kept on wondering, too many what ifs running through his mind.

_ What if he's still alive? What if we're achieving our dreams side by side? What if he wasn't gone? What if there's a parallel universe wherein we're happy living our lives? Please, he pleaded, not knowing who he was pleading to... _

And with that, he fell asleep with tears streaming down his face.

\---

When he woke up, head throbbing from his hangover, there was an arm wrapped around his waist. In confusion he looked at the person who was invading his personal space and he was shocked to see Jaemin.  _ His Jaemin . _

He slapped himself in the face, trying to wake up "properly", doing all sorts of things that would wake him up—causing the other to wake up.

"Baby, what are you trying to acheive by doing that?" the other asked, he kept on blinking—trying to see if Jaemin would disappear.

"But you're gone? Months ago? I saw you passed away." Renjun said quite puzzled by seeing Jaemin beside him.

"Baby, what are you saying? We were star-gazing last night, you had a couple shots of soju but you said that's it because we have to pick Haneul up from Donghyuck's place?" This doesn't make sense because he was there during Jaemin's wake, when they bid their goodbyes, so this situation is fucking up his mind because it feels all too real.

"What? Who's Haneul?" He asked, utterly confused of what was happening because this doesn't feel like it's a fever dream.

"Are you tripping? Haneul is our child"

"What? We have a child?"

"Baby, what are you on? She's literally 4 years old now?"

"What? How old are you Na Jaemin?"

"You're scaring me, please."

"HOW. OLD. ARE. YOU?" He said as he emphasized every word to clear up his confusion.

"Baby, I'm 30 years old? We got married at 25 years old? Got Haneul as a baby when we were 26?"

Then the thought suddenly hit him, last night he wished for a parallel universe wherein he knows that they are happy, and he got this. So he'll make the most out of this day, because this is not his place. The universe has given him a chance to get a glimpse of what a future with Jaemin would be, for him to be able to close that chapter in his life. Knowing that in another universe, they managed to stay together and have a wonderful family.

_**It was enough for him that in another universe, he was happy in the arms of the one he loves.** _

**Author's Note:**

> haha sike, you've come this far!!! thanks for reading my work


End file.
